Nighttime Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme

Late-night's prominent comedians devoted their evening criticizing former President Donald Trump's newly announced immigration program, called the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant pay-to-play system for the rich.

Colbert's Sarcastic Analysis

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas jingle about the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "The President ... ruins each thing he handles."

The focus was the controversial plan which permits foreign nationals to acquire U.S. residence for a sum of one million dollars, or "premium" version for $5 million. The program's page pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief thought for you to affluent foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the card is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, involving hefty costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choice – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"Unprecedented vetting the U.S. government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these people absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent international individuals to live here," he explained. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining poll ratings during economic concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he said.

This week, in a effort to discuss cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of food items, and behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting right-leaning media arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he laughed.